10/13/13
I believe that some of
the most difficult undertakings in life are also the most spiritually fruitful.
Sometimes one needs to see the darkness before they can truly comprehend the
light. Being a single mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. The hours
are terrible and the boss has a terrible tendency to whine. There is no
vacation time, paid or unpaid. It requires the expertise of a maid, a teacher,
a cook, a drill sergeant, a biohazard cleanup crew, and a nun. I must perform a
version of all those professions without having had the proper training. That
is not to say the job is not rewarding, though.
Late this summer, I
caught a cold that had been plaguing various family members and co-workers. I
woke up one morning feeling as if I had been run over by a herd of cattle. I
spent my morning battling a mass of laundry, preparing breakfast, and keeping
my son, Xaiden, out of trouble. All the while my head was pounding, my throat
blazing, and my muscles screaming in protest to every miniscule movement. Once
I completed the morning chores and Xaiden’s stomach was full, we headed up to
the bedroom. After depositing him amidst his toys, I cuddled into my bed. As I
lay there with eyes that were itching to close, he wobbled over to me with his
favorite stuffed animal, Piggy.
“Is that Piggy?”
“Piggy!”
Xaiden then shoved back
my blanket, nestled Piggy under my chin. He even tucked me back in to the best
of his ability. The action brought tears to my eyes. My little boy, only a year
and a half old, was trying his hardest to make me comfortable.
It is the small moments
full of warmth, joy, and love that truly make life enjoyable. Amidst a sea of
homework deadlines, stressful days at work, and never-ending household chores, some
moments shine so bright that they wash out everything detestable or unpleasant.
Sometimes, the best
part of my day is picking Xaiden up from the sitter’s. Even after a long day at
work, my mood instantly brightens when I open the door and hear Xaiden squeal
in excitement because of my arrival. His eyes light up as he runs toward me
with a huge smile splayed across his face. I have encountered no joy greater
than that of having someone I love so deeply be so excited to see me.
The
work is often frustrating, and days off are few and far between. Those short
spells of pride and happiness make the tiring frustration worth it, though. I
would take on a mountain of fermented, milk-steeped rags for those moments. I
would slay a swimming pool of pots and pans for Xaiden’s smile. For his giggles,
I would haul seventeen loads of groceries up five flights of stairs. Shining
moments are the fruit of pushing forward through tough times. My little boy has
taught me how to recognize and cherish these little fragments of serenity.
No comments:
Post a Comment